Marriage Advice

10 Golden Rules for Staying Happy with the One You Love

KristenandNicholas_Sept2015_AnnaSawinPhoto_2921. First and foremost, love each other.

Realize how lucky you are to be in love with someone who loves you. Say, “I love you” often and in different ways. Surprise each other with gifts of praise to show your love. Remember that love grows in an atmosphere of freedom and trust, not from restraint and obligation. Do things to keep your love and romance new and alive. Don’t take love for granted, ever. It’s such a blessing.

2. Listen objectively to each other, as you would to a friend.

Acceptance is a key to understanding and a buffer for tension and resentment. Don’t take things personally; give each other the right to have different opinions, the right to disagree. You don’t want anyone to control your feelings, so don’t try to own someone else’s, not even the feelings of the one you love.

3. Never stop treating each other like sweethearts.

Talk to each other as sweethearts. Do things that sweethearts do. Work together in achieving your goals. Do things just to make the other one feel loved, especially when he or she might be feeling a little down. Take pride in the way you look and act, for yourself and for your partner, but never let external values have more importance than the internal feelings of your heart.

4. Take care of each other.

Go to the doctor with each other. Put the other one first, but don’t neglect your own needs either. Do the things that show that you’re interested in your partner’s needs and desires and problems.

5. Look to each other for help.

Don’t let your problems or concerns get out of hand and make you go in opposite directions. Be joyful that you’ve each made a commitment to the other…through sickness or health, poverty or wealth, or whatever comes along. You’re in this life together. Be thankful.

6. Talk about things together the way you would talk with a friend.

Absolutely refuse to say anything negative about your partner. Share your most important secrets, and never betray the secrets of your partner; treat them as almost sacred. Keep your own identity, but walk together as one. Don’t ever give up on your love.

7. Settle the fact that you’ve made your choice and you’re no longer looking for anyone else.

Don’t flirt. Think of the consequences. Don’t even consider it.

8. Be in agreement about how your money is spent.

Big items should have the approval of both. Talk about how to manage your finances.

9. When in doubt about your actions, ask yourself how you would want to be treated and then act accordingly.

If you’ve argued, never go to sleep without asking the other’s forgiveness, even when you don’t feel like it or want to. Be faithful about this; you won’t be sorry. Do what will make you both the happiest in the long run and be the best for your relationship.

10. Have fun!