Wedding Rehearsal

Running a Wedding Rehearsal

Absences

If you know that someone cannot attend the rehearsal, appoint a stand-in who will participate in the rehearsal and explain the duties to the participant before the ceremony.

Wedding Coordinator

The truth about Wedding Coordinators…they can make your life easy and…you absolutely do not have to hire one. It’s putting together a party with a wedding theme essentially. You can always consider asking a favorite friend or relative, who is not a member of the wedding party, to assist you by coordinating the wedding and the rehearsal. On your wedding day, you do not want to be the only person who knows exactly how the wedding should flow. Having a coordinator will give you a chance to fully enjoy your wedding ceremony. And most importantly, now-a-days, the caterer, more than likely, has one serving in the position who will take all the notes on who’s to be doing what. Or hire Marie. She’s done ovwer 3000 weddings she knows the all the actors.

Children

It is especially important that any children who will participate in the ceremony attend the rehearsal. Please take care to speak with the children in a gentle and thoughtful manner and have props (i.e. a dummy flower basket with petals, a broom, a pillow, etc.) that will allow them to practice their actions. This may be the first time they “perform” in front of a group, let us make sure that it is fun and easy for them. Don’t freak if they choose not to perform. Little Johnie is only 4. If they start to do cartwheels after the ceremony has started…simply exit stage left.

Scheduling

Weddings are highly emotional times for everyone and may bring up emotions that are difficult to handle. Please schedule your rehearsal so that everyone is already there at start time. Not arriving at the start time. Make sure they know if they are traveling I-95, in CT, then to plan for an extra hour of travel. There is ALWAYS contruction…accidents…detours etc. And for your friends who are perpetually late, it is unlikely that they will be on-time for such an emotional occasion. So give them an earlier start time by 1/2 hour.

Take Care of Yourself

Do get enough sleep and eat healthy meals as your rehearsal and wedding approach. You will need to maintain your strength and perspective. Take time to visualize your rehearsal and wedding ceremony, so that you will be able to address any complications and calm yourself. No matter what happens, do your best to remain flexible, calm, and pleasant. Your spouse, attendants and guests want to celebrate with you. Being able to do so, is much more important than everything running exactly as you planned. Remember to enjoy these moments! They will never come again.

General Pre-Rehearsal Instructions

  • Introductions of people as necessary.
  • Tell everyone when to arrive for wedding and where they should go.
    • Men meet with officiant.
    • Women meet at the Bride’s room.
  • Discuss when pictures will be taken.
  • Advise that in case of mistakes, we will go ahead with wedding. Fake rings if necessary.
  • No gum, please. Everyone relax and enjoy it. Be natural.
  • Men hold their left hand over their right.
  • FOR THE REHEARSAL ITSELF…Practice
    • Go through once verbally.
    • Go through once quickly.
    • Go through as though it were real. (Don’t say the whole ceremony.)


Step One — Everyone in Place

Line up the wedding party where they will be standing for the wedding ceremony.

  • Groom and his attendants on Officiant’s left
  • Bride and her attendants on Officiant’s right
  • The Bride and Groom face each other
  • The Ring Bearer in front of the Groom’s attendants
  • Flower Girl(s) in front of the Bride’s attendants

Because the early Anglo Saxon groom so often had to defend his bride from would-be kidnappers, she stood to his left, leaving his sword-arm free. The “best” warrior in the tribe stood by the groom and was responsible for helping defend the bride, thus the placement for the modern day best man.

Step Two — Practice the Recessional

After Officiant has declared the couple “husband and wife”, they kiss and are announced as Mr. and Mrs. Smith

  • Couple exits to end of guest seating then…
  • Flower girl and ring bearer follow.
  • Attendants from each side meet in the center and walk out as couples.
  • Bride’s parents & Grandparents
  • Groom’s parents & Grandparents
  • Officiant
  • Guest


Step Three — Seating the Guests

The ushers seat the family and honored guests at the announced time of the wedding. The front row is reserved for these special people. At the rehearsal you can practice escorting in these special guests. Remind the special people to wait in the back for their escort. Introducing them to their escort (usher) is all that’s needed.

Suggested order for special guests

  • Grandparents of the groom
  • Grandparents of the bride
  • Parents of the groom
  • Mother of the bride

Ushers are instructed as to whether they are to seat guests generally, or as “friends of the bride or friends of the groom” and whether or not they are to walk guests all the way to their seats, or motion them to empty seats.

In ancient days, fathers would offer daughters as peace offerings to warring tribes. Because of the hostility, the families were placed on opposite sides of the church so the ceremony could go on without bloodshed. The ceremony united the two warring factions into on family, and danger of war was resolved.

Step Four — Processional

Now the bridal party goes to the places from where they will enter on the wedding day. Groom and his attendants go to the side (stage left, Officiant’s left side). The Bride and her attendants go to the back of the hall.

Wedding party enters and takes places where they were in Step One.

  • Groom and his attendants walk up center isle led by Officiant.
    OR act as Ushers for the Bridesmaids
  • Bride’s attendants walking slowly to the beat of the song- last outside bridesmaid first (processional music begins)
  • Maid of Honor walking slowly to beat of song coming in
  • Ring bearer Suggestion: Use fake rings for the Ring Bearer. This avoids problems with dropping the rings or with the Ring Bearer refusing to relinquish the rings.
  • Flower girl (sometimes accompanied by Ring Bearer)
  • Music changes as the Bride prepares to enter
  • Officiant motions the guests to rise
  • Bride enters with escort on her left
  • As the Bride approaches the front, the Groom will take several steps toward her and her escort and offer her his arm. They then join hands facing each other for the entire ceremony. The escort then seats themselves.

The rings should be in the custody of the Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor. The Best Man should carry the Bride’s ring on his little finger, and the Maid of Honor should carry the Groom’s ring on her index finger or thumb. Then slightly curl fingers to ensure safety.

If rings are on the Ring bearer’s pillow, the Best Man will remove them and give them to the Officiant one at a time with the Bride’s ring first; or deliver both at the same time, at the option of the Officiant.

Bride gives her flowers to Marie and then she hands them to attendent. The Bride and Groom face each other and join both hands for the entire ceremony.

You will have worked out with the Officiant what you are to say during the wedding ceremony. The Officiant will review this with you at the rehearsal. At the point of the Vows, you may simply respond to a question, or you may have decided to do a “repeat-after-me” statement with prompts from the Officiant.

After the prouncement of the couple the Bride then gets her flowers back QUICKLY from her Maid/Matron of Honor, and you both turn to face the guests. Before the Recessional music starts, the Officiant will formally present to the two of you to your guests. Once the recessional music begins the couple dances down the isle to the tune of the music…having fun along the way…after they have cleared the guest chairs…the rest of the bridal partie has fun doing the same thing. Guys and girls together, then immediate family, Officiant and the rest of the guest.

Step Six — Practice Recessional again

The traditional church wedding features two bridal marches, by two different classical composers. The bride walks down the aisle to the majestic, moderately paced music of the “Bridal Chorus” from Richard Wagner’s 1848 opera “Lohengrin. The newlyweds exit to the more jubilant, upbeat strains of the “Wedding March” (From Felix Mendelssohn’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream.”)

The custom dates back to the royal marriage, in 1858, of Victoria, princess of Great Britain, and Empress of Germany, to Prince Frederick William of Prussia. Victoria, eldest daughter of Britain’s Queen Victoria, selected the music herself. A patron of the arts, she valued the works of Mendelssohn and practically venerated those of Wagner. Given the British penchant for copying the monarchy, soon brides throughout the Isles, nobility and commoners alike, were marching to Victoria’s drummer, establishing a Western wedding tradition.