Writing Your Vows

Most couple’s feel that their love is truly unique, a special bond between the two of them that no one else will ever experience in quite the same way. They’re right. Writing your own views can be an intensely moving and intimate way to create a ceremony that truly reflects the way you feel about each other.

Before you can effectively express your feelings, you’ll need to identify them. It?s Important to talk to each other about your marriage, discussing your beliefs, dreams, and expectations. Take notes on this conversation and use it as the foundation for building your own custom made vows. Once you identify the things that are the most important to you, then you can decide how best to express them.

Here are some questions to get you started
When and where did you first meet?
What was the state of your life before the two of you met?
At what point did you realize you were in love? Describe the feeling.
What inspires you about your loved one?
What life goals and dreams do you share?
What have you learned from each other?
What qualities make your love unique? What qualities will keep it strong?
How has your view of the world changed since you fell in love?
What do you most look forward to about life with this person?
What are some special moments in your relationship, either happy or sad, humorous or profound?


  • The vows themselves should only take two or three minutes to say to one another.
    This is a public declaration of your commitment, not a private conversation between the two of you.
  • Don’t embarrass your friends and family with details that are too intimate or lengthy.
  • Sincerity is the key; the words should come from your heart.
  • Decide whether or not the two of you will recite the same vows or different ones.
  • Have your guests participate in your ceremony by doing simple things such as a reading and/or a blessing.
  • Discuss your personal vows with your officiant beforehand.
  • Read your vows out loud, which is a surprisingly effective way to catch errors, glitches, or awkward phrasing.
  • Additional thoughts on your commitment to marriage may be expressed in the main body of the ceremony or through the use of special poems and prayers.